


Falling For the Champion

by Billy_Zane



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Dragon Age II - Act 2, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Heartbreak, Oral Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Smut, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:13:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26854261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Billy_Zane/pseuds/Billy_Zane
Summary: After a recent string of hook-ups between Varric and Hawke, brought on by a mutual need for comfort & companionship in the wake of heartbreak from their respective relationships, Varric finds himself falling for Hawke in a way he did not anticipate. Hawke has begun to sense this and fears that the sex they are having together means more to him than it does to her. Almost 2 years have passed since Fenris left Hawke due to unresolved trauma, but she is still madly in love with him. If Varric is over Bianca now and growing deep feelings for Hawke, she cannot in good conscience allow these hook ups to continue. Easier said than done.
Relationships: Female Hawke & Varric Tethras
Kudos: 2





	Falling For the Champion

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” she says softly, hushed in almost a whisper. Her rosy lips curve up into a sweet smile, but her eyes contradict. She reaches for him, grasping onto his arm tenderly. It sends a shudder through him and for a moment he forgets their entire conversation.

“I don’t want you to say anything, not if you don’t want to,” he shakes his head, letting out a sigh. “What I need…what I’m asking is…”

This was so much more difficult than he imagined it would be. He felt vulnerable, exposed—laid bare before her. It wasn’t like it was the first time they shared something intimate. He had lost count of the many times they’d laid next to one another late into the night, talking about anything and everything, until they fell asleep in his bed, sometimes limbs tangled together and her head on his chest. It was always easy between them, as if they’d known each other their whole lives. Sharing his innermost thoughts—deepest fears and greatest desires, was like second nature at this point. But tonight was different. For a man who had a special brilliance with words—an almost uncanny ability to possess the right thing to say—he was severely lacking in this moment, barely able to string together a coherent sentence to convey his feelings.

“I _know_ what you’re asking, Varric,” she sighs, pulling her knees up to her chest. Her strikingly pale breasts press up against them, her long ebony hair curtaining them as she leans a bit forward. He is not unaware of the fact that she is still completely naked, something he has seen on many occasions, but at this particular time he is finding incredibly distracting.

“But I can’t give you give that, you know this,” she looks up at him, holding his gaze intensely. She will be his undoing. “It’s not that I don’t _want_ to.” She lets out a laugh, shaking her head.

“I would never ask you to do something you don’t want to,” he says seriously.

“I know that, Varric. Of course I do,” she smiles, touching his arm again.

He grabs her hand quickly, before she pulls it away. He ropes his fingers into hers, holding it tightly without letting go. “Then I don’t understand what the problem is, Hawke. We’ve done this before,” he shakes his head. “Remember when you came to me that night, Hawke. You wanted… _needed—“_

“I know,” she interrupts quickly. “I did. And you were so…” she shakes her head, trying to find the right words. “Well, you were _perfect_. You were everything I needed and it was a great comfort to me at a time when everything in my life seemed to be falling apart.”

“And the times after—I know this doesn’t happen between us all the time, but you spent _more_ than handful of times in my bed, Hawke,” he reminds her. “If you don’t want this anymore, I will gladly back off. But you are sitting here in my bed— _naked_ — and just moments ago it sure seemed like you were immensely enjoying what I was doing between your legs.”

This made her blush, and she fidgeted a bit, seemingly more conscious of her own state of nudity.

“I _was_. I’m not trying to argue with that. Whenever I’m with you, as your best friend or…like _that_ , it feels incredible. It’s just that…”

He lets out a sigh of disappointment. “It’s him, isn’t it.” He states knowingly, more so than as a question.

She furrows her eyebrows a bit, a slight frown forming on her lips. “Not exactly. I mean, in a way, _yes_. It always is. But that’s not why. If it was, then you and I would have never…well, you _know_.” She gestures at him.

“Would have never _fucked_? You can call what it is, Hawke. We’re both adults here,” he says, a hint of frustration growing within. “Denying it only makes this worse.”

She can tell he is irritated.

“I never denied it,” she says defensively. “What do you want me to say, Varric? That it took me nearly _two years_ to realize that Fenris and I were over for good—that he had moved on and I was just fooling myself, hoping he’d change his mind? Yes, I admit that. And the second I realized it, I showed up at _your_ door looking for more than a pint and a shoulder to cry on,” she concedes. “So I propositioned you—I _begged_. I was pretty fucking desperate, truth be told.” She grins a bit cynically, giving him a wink. “But _you_ —well, you were awfully generous. You fucked me so good that by the end I couldn’t even remember what I was sad about. And for awhile there I kept coming back for more.”

He holds up his hands in mock defense. “Look, I’m not demanding you give me a glowing review. I just wanted you to acknowledge what has happened between us—so I know I’m not crazy.”

She softens at this and inches closer to him, pressing a soft kiss on his cheek. It doesn’t help his predicament, but he is still grateful. He turns to her, placing both of his hands on her face, pulling her toward him until their lips touch. At first he kisses her gently and tenderly, but when he feels her begin to respond, he crushes his lips harder against hers.

After a minute of mouth-numbing kissing, he pushes her back down on his bed, running his hand from her leg up to her breast. She does not protest, so he proceeds, pinching her nipple on one breast, and suckling the one on her other.

“Varric,” she moans.

He pulls off his tunic, then kisses down her torso, leaving small marks along her hips—stopping just below.

“Hawke?” He questions, softly, yet pleading.

She is already in a contented trance. “Please, Varric.”

And with that, he picks up both her legs and rests them on his shoulders, diving face first into her folds, licking and sucking with focused devotion.

He is pleased to find that she is already quite wet and he slips a finger inside of her—then another, and watches her face as he touches her. Her eyes are mostly closed, but her eyelids appear to be fluttering as she moans in pleasure, unable to keep still. Just watching her like this would be enough to make him finish if he watched for much longer.

He leans his face back down to her, sucking her clitoris gently into his mouth, in and out—just as he knows she likes. She squirms and giggles a bit as his stubble grazes her. As he continues to suck and lick in a circular motion, he can tell the tension is building up in her. Just a little bit more will send her over the edge.

“Should I keep going?” He smirks, sucking the wetness off his fingers.

“Oh fuck you,” she blurts, sounded exasperated.

“You’re about to,” he chuckles. And with that, he pulls down his trousers a bit and whips out his very stiff cock. He plunges it inside her, thrusting quickly and deep. She feels absolutely amazing. He might just love this woman.

She puts an arm up on his shoulder, then pulls herself up until she is straddling him, legs wrapped around his torso. Her breasts are right in front of his face, thanks to their difference in height. He takes advantage of the situation, nuzzling his face between them as she rides him hard, moving up and down.

He thrusts upward, panting and groaning. He puts two fingers over her clit and rubs in gentle circles as he continues to pump into her. Quickly they both come—him cursing and she clawing her nails into his back.

When it’s over, they both lay on their backs, out of breath.

After several minutes of silence, she lets out a sigh and pulls some blankets up over her.

“We can’t do this again.”

“Hawke,” he groans.

“Varric, I’m serious. I was trying to tell you before, but you… _distracted_ me,” she shakes her head.

“You didn’t seem to mind,” he points out.

“That’s not fair,” she protests. “You know I have a weakness for you.”

At that he chuckles. “What can I say, Hawke? Your dwarf is flattered.”

“ _My_ dwarf,” she grins with a gentle laugh.

They’re quiet again for a few more minutes, both deep in thought.

“Alright, _fine_ ,” he sighs. “I’m not going to try to talk you out of whatever it is that you need to say. And although I’m pretty sure I already have a good idea what that is, I’m not gonna ask you to spare me the misery. Lay it on me, Hawke. I can take it, I’m a big boy.”

“The reason we can’t do this again is because I’m never going to be able to give you what you want,” she says.

“I’m pretty sure you just did,” he winks.

She shakes her head. “That’s not what I mean and I’m pretty sure you know that. I _mean_ that I can’t in good conscience keep using you for sex. You’ve been my dearest, most important friend for almost 6 years now, Varric. I love you. I hate that I’ve taken advantage of you.”

“Take advantage of me?” He scoffs. “Hawke, I practically begged you to let me eat your pussy a minute ago. I am a _more_ than willing participant in…whatever _this_ is.”

“What _is_ this to you?” She asks him seriously. “Because I don’t think it’s the same thing it was the first few times we did this.”

He frowns. “What do mean by that?”

“Varric, I see the way you’ve…the way you’ve been looking at me, lately,” she sighs. “Something changed. I don’t when exactly, but I’ve felt it. I was okay with _using you for sex_ when I was positive you were also using me for the same thing. But now I fear that it’s one sided, and I can’t stand the thought of hurting you.”

“You’re not hurting me, Hawke,” Varric insists. “I enjoy each moment I get with you, regardless. Whether it’s getting drunk off our asses while we spin wild tales to the patrons at the tavern, or doing what we just did now—all of it is good.”

She smiles sadly at him, gently brushing his arm. “I enjoy all of that too. I don’t want to risk ruining our friendship—if it’s not too late already, although I worry we won’t be able to go back to how things used to be.”

“Do we need to? I’m happy with this, Hawke. I don’t need anything more,” he states.

“Really?” She asks skeptically. “Don’t you want _love_? Not the kind between two close friends, but something you only share with a lover.”

“Hawke, I gave up on any idealistic sense of love and romance after Bianca ended things a couple months back. If she supposedly loved me, yet was still going to marry that Smith in the Merchant’s Guild, then I don’t have a clue what real love is anyway,” he mutters.

“The last thing I’d want to do is hurt you the way she did, Varric,” Hawke offers.

“That’s impossible. It was an entirely different situation—different kind of relationship, Bianca and I,” he shakes his head.

“Do you still love her?”

“No, I don’t think I do,” he says thoughtfully. “I think that last time really did it for me. It hurt like hell, but having that kind of closure is exactly what I needed to finally move on.”

“I’m truly glad for you in that—to gain a sense of closure, enabling you to heal,” she smiles. “I certainly wish it worked that way always.”

“Hawke. It’s been _2 years_. Do you really still love him, after all that?” Varric asks with a hint of dismay, looking her in the eye.

“ _Completely_. I know he’s over it—moved on—I’m not holding out any hope that we would ever get a second chance, trust me,” she sighs. “But I think I’ll always be in love with him. If it hasn’t gone away already, I don’t see how it ever will.”

“I could just kill the bastard for what he did to you,” Varric clenches his fists. “You are far more gracious than I, Hawke—letting him still stick around our group and venture out with us. He has no clue what he had, how lucky he was. A bloody fool.”

“It wasn’t his fault,” she shrugs. “It hurt like hell, but it’s not like he did it on purpose. He’s so broken, Varric—you have no idea the trauma he endured. Even _I_ don’t know the half of it. There were things he could never speak of—and that’s just what he was able to remember. I know he loved me in the way he could—what he was capable of. It wasn’t easy for him. When things got serious between us—and physical—memories, _painful_ memories, starting coming up. He had no control of that. Something about our intimacy must have triggered it. That’s really all I can think of.”

“Even still, to just abandon you like that…”

“He didn’t _abandon_ me, Varric,” Hawke sighs. “It felt like it at the time, but now I see things more clearly. We don’t get to choose the times our past trauma comes to the surface to haunt us. It was bad timing— _terrible_ timing, but it wasn’t his fault.”

Varric nods, not knowing what to say.

“What hurts the most is seeing him moved on. I’m immensely glad that he is healing and finding joy now, _truly_ I am. But there’s this part of me that aches to know that I’m not a part of why he smiles now,” she admits, a couple tears welling up in her eyes. “I wanted so badly to make him happy, to love him the way he needed to be loved. I guess I just wasn’t enough in that—or not the right person for him, anyway.”

“You’re enough, Hawke,” Varric insists.

“It’s okay,” she smiles, wiping away a tear that slipped by. “I’m not for everybody, and that’s alright.”

“Hawke, let me try to make you happy,” Varric says softly. “I know I’ll never be what _he_ was to you, but I think I could do a pretty decent job.”

“Varric, I just can’t…” She sighs. “I know it means something different to you than it does to me.”

“I’m okay with that, Hawke,” he insists. “Really, I am.”

“I want better for you, dear friend,” she grins. “No more nights spent pleasing a woman who has another man threaded into the fabric of her heart.”

“This is really what you want—to go back to the way things were before?” He sighs, looking up at her.

“Yes, I want that,” she nods. “But if you need some time, some space for a bit…I understand.”

“I’ll get over it, Hawke,” he smiles half heartedly. “Please don’t worry about me. I’ll always be your best friend, you can count on that.”

“I’m the luckiest girl in the world,” she grins widely.

“But you’ll have to let me keep writing stories about you,” he winks.

“You always paint me in a far more heroic and noble light than I deserve,” she shakes her head. “I doubt your readers will buy it.”

“Don’t insult my work, human,” he retorts playfully. “I happen to be an _expert_ at storytelling—and I’m inclined toward extravagant lies.”

They both chuckle. “I suppose the interpretation of certain events are left up to the discernment of the storyteller,” she concedes. “Write whatever you damn well please about me, but if people start hunting me down with questions, I will deny everything until the cows come home.”

“Only a true _champion_ would be so modest,” he winks. “Your humility becomes you, Hawke.”

Hawke rolls her eyes and playfully nudges his shoulder.

* * *

Once they are both dressed, they head toward door, ready to have a couple drinks in the tavern. Pretty soon their friends will be turning up for their weekly game of Wicked Grace.

“I just want to say that I’m so thankful for you, Varric—our friendship, it means the world to me,” Hawke says sincerely, giving his hand a squeeze. “If I could change anything about myself…”

“Shhh,” he cuts her off. “It’s _okay_ , Hawke. You can’t force these things. It was what it was. It was really nice while it lasted, but now we’ll both move forward.”

“Hey Varric, can I ask you something? Just one more thing I was wondering…”

“Sure, ask away,” he gestures.

“When all this started, a couple months ago,” she begins. “Did you think of her when you were with me? _Bianca_ , that is.”

He takes a breath, contemplating what to say next. The truth of the matter is that _no_ , indeed he did _not_ think of Bianca when he made love to, err— _messed around_ with Hawke. In fact, Hawke was the first person to ever make him forget. He hadn’t thought it was possible, but when he was with her, all remainders of Bianca slipped away. It was as if she had never existed. His heart could only be occupied by one woman.

“Sorry, you don’t have to answer,” she says apologetically.

“Huh? Oh! No, that’s okay,” he replies, being pulled back in from his thoughts. “Um, _yes_ —I did think of her, quite often. I couldn’t really help myself, that woman sinks her claws in pretty deep.”

Hawke smiles, looking relieved. “Well, my conscience is a bit relieved to know I wasn’t the only one who’s mind— _and heart_ , was elsewhere. Thanks for being honest with me, Varric.”

“Always, Hawke,” he smiles slightly, eager to change the subject.“Well, shall we?”

“Yes! I hope you’re ready to get your ass kicked in Wicked Grace,” she winks with an adorable smirk spreading on her face.

He holds the door for her. “You may be a champion in my stories, Hawke, but tonight you’ll be wallowing in defeat,” he quips with a smirk.

“Oh it’s on,” she replies with intensity.

“Ha! We’ll see,” he grins. “After you, my lady.”

Wanting what one cannot have is never easy, but true love never takes what is not freely given.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it :) Please leave comments and let me know what you thought! I know Varric and Hawke are an unusual romantic pairing, but it's something I always wanted to explore a bit. My thought behind this story was inspired from a "what if...?" What if Varric got over Bianca? What if Hawke gave up waiting for Fenris? (my Hawkes are always with Fenris, so it's cannon for me)


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